A Bite of the Apple

3/23/2015

I’ve been trying to understand what’s wrong with me. I’m having amazing experiences and opportunities with my book, Life on All Fours. Yet, I can’t explain why my family and friends sometimes seem more excited than me. I’ve been blessed with incredible support and feedback and yet the glow of those experiences sometimes fades to something else. That “something else” feels like hovering over something murky and foreboding. It’s not a place I want to land. I’m great at being in the moment when the moment feels like swimming naked in a summer lake. I’m not so good at landing on a moment when it feels like I showed up for church and forgot to put on clothes. I’ve been having a lot of naked dreams lately.

In the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve took a bite of the apple, their eyes were opened and they became aware of their nakedness. I’ve always struggled with this story. Since the apple came from the tree of knowledge, wouldn’t eating the apple be a good thing? Why did Adam and Eve hide and design fashionable loincloths made of local organically grown fig leaves? (Well, OK, I can understand the loincloths. lol) But why were they thrown out of paradise?

As much as I might want to claim my book as fiction, it has an intimate relationship to my personal story. That intersection continues to unfold in expected and unexpected ways as I show up for these book events. Perhaps my dilemma is one of expectation . . . I always want paradise. Yet, the invisible force that calls my name and invites me to take a bite of the apple leads me to places that are a bit more complicated. The journey of telling my truth is not an invitation to lounge unaware in the Garden of Eden but it is the dance between the liberation that comes from knowing and the sheer fear that comes with being exposed. Maybe I’m a conflicted nudist, but nakedness does not always bring exhilaration and the process of exposing is never done—there’s always more to discover. There is grace and healing in this space but it requires that I show up and make a landing.

By the way, as you might have guessed . . . Rufus LOVED apples!

P.S. Speaking of church and nakedness—here’s a link to the message I gave at GLIDE Memorial Church this December 7, 2014, the Sunday we commemorated World AIDS Day.

I'd love to hear from you, please post your comments below..

7 Comments

Daily Bites and Blessings

Welcome to "Daily Bites and Blessings." Pull up a chair. I’ve set a place for you at the table. These edibles are sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet and often they are both. This is a come as you are party. I invite you to bring your compassion, courage, and curiosity as we dine together on life's bounty. May our time together give us more light and more love.

Diene Sanchez

3/23/2015 06:35:29 am

Hard to say why we are more excited for you then you seem, but maybe it's because we accept you as a writer and maybe you wonder if the book is a one time piece. We are all waiting to hear what is next on your writing agenda. Through your generous sharing of your story you have touched many hearts and lives. take another bite we are all ready.

David

3/23/2015 07:09:46 am

Thank you Diane. I am honored and blessed by your encouragement. I will continue my apple exploration . . . who knows maybe there's a crisp or a pie in your future? :-)

Fernando

3/23/2015 07:41:47 am

David, you are a miracle. Rufus was a miracle. I'm so honored to be part of your life. So is Rosie. Your message was so powerful, moving and loving. Hugs to you my friend.

3/24/2015 01:43:59 am

Fernando--thank you for being part of this miracle.

Katie Burke

3/24/2015 12:50:38 am

I often find that others are more excited by my news than I am. I think it's because there are certain milestones that are "supposed" to be thrilling: a new job, a new relationship, and in your case, book publication.

And they are, but we're the ones who live the crappy first day on the job; the angst of knowing this new love we've found could leave us; and the constant exposure in sharing ourselves and our creative products with the world. We are intimately familiar with the struggles. Everyone else only imagines how cool the success must be.

In my experience, both your feelings of fear and our joy for you are true. You don't gain anything without losing something, or at least feeling vulnerable to loss. And, it's super fabulous to share in a friend's success because we vicariously receive all the good parts with all our clothes on, while you're standing alone over there, without yours.

But, of course, we are standing with you ... and supporting and admiring you with every step.

3/24/2015 01:40:33 am

Well said Katie. It is a fascinating journey. I'm grateful to all of you who stand with me. Thank you!

Sandy

3/31/2015 02:34:44 pm

Wow! You are so powerful, David. Grace is another very fitting word. I hear (and second) your discomfort in that space of truly being seen at a deep open, vulnerable place--free of any pretense or defense. This is the place where the growth happens--enfold yourself in your faith here and maybe dance naked? Please keep on showing up and sharing. You are such a bright light.

A Bite of the Apple

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