I’ve been trying to understand what’s wrong with me. I’m having amazing experiences and opportunities with my book, Life on All Fours. Yet, I can’t explain why my family and friends sometimes seem more excited than me. I’ve been blessed with incredible support and feedback and yet the glow of those experiences sometimes fades to something else. That “something else” feels like hovering over something murky and foreboding. It’s not a place I want to land. I’m great at being in the moment when the moment feels like swimming naked in a summer lake. I’m not so good at landing on a moment when it feels like I showed up for church and forgot to put on clothes. I’ve been having a lot of naked dreams lately.
As much as I might want to claim my book as fiction, it has an intimate relationship to my personal story. That intersection continues to unfold in expected and unexpected ways as I show up for these book events. Perhaps my dilemma is one of expectation . . . I always want paradise. Yet, the invisible force that calls my name and invites me to take a bite of the apple leads me to places that are a bit more complicated. The journey of telling my truth is not an invitation to lounge unaware in the Garden of Eden but it is the dance between the liberation that comes from knowing and the sheer fear that comes with being exposed. Maybe I’m a conflicted nudist, but nakedness does not always bring exhilaration and the process of exposing is never done—there’s always more to discover. There is grace and healing in this space but it requires that I show up and make a landing.
By the way, as you might have guessed . . . Rufus LOVED apples!
P.S. Speaking of church and nakedness—here’s a link to the message I gave at GLIDE Memorial Church this December 7, 2014, the Sunday we commemorated World AIDS Day.
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Daily Bites and Blessings
Welcome to "Daily Bites and Blessings." Pull up a chair. I’ve set a place for you at the table. These edibles are sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet and often they are both. This is a come as you are party. I invite you to bring your compassion, courage, and curiosity as we dine together on life's bounty. May our time together give us more light and more love.